Family of Five: How to Host a Pirate Party in 6,000 Easy Steps

So you're hosting a pirate party...

First, make the invitations. Draw a map of your neighborhood on one side, design the other side on the computer. Print on brown bag cardstock. Rip edges, paint with milk and grape juice, bake in oven until browned. Drink soda from glass bottles for several months and save the bottles. Spray with frosted glass spray. Roll up invites, stuff in bottles, sprinkle with sand, label and deliver.

Be sure to make extras for your kids to play with (and to allow for any that didn't survive the aging/rolling process)

Use random stash of fake instant coffee to dye white wedding bags dirty brown. (Real coffee works too, I'm sure. I just don't have any.) Boil, stir, drain, squeeze, put in dryer on hot. Don't drink the leftover "coffee."

Use the giant box of baking soda in your laundry room (that is supposed to get rid of armpit stains, if you ever get around to trying it) and water to make "fire gems." Try using food coloring to color them and stain your hands as well, or skip straight to using watercolor paint. Sprinkle with glitter while still wet (or squirt with water 3 days later and add glitter because you forgot on the first 3.) Realize some of these may break as they dry, so make extra. Fill spray bottles with vinegar. DON'T forget it's vinegar in there and use to spray something like, say, your hair. Or your newly budding window seedlings. Or your family.

Make pixie dust pouches. Just tie thin elastic to the ends of some drawstring organza gift bags and drop in a little bottle of glitter. Be sure to tell the kids the pixie dust is for outdoor use only as we don't need pirates stuck on the ceiling. Be surprised when they ignore you and glitter is permanently part of your household for the next year or so.

Gather many boxes from friends, family, neighbors, stores, etc. Park your car in the driveway. You will need the garage for building pirate ships. You will also need glue, tape, scissors, a sharp knife, wrapping paper tubes, an imagination (someone else's is fine), cloth, plastic tablecloths or poster board for sails, black and brown paint AND a supportive spouse. Also bandaids and antiseptic cream (cardboard papercuts hurt!)

Oh yes, and balls - lots of balls! To use as cannonballs for a ship battle, of course! So think soft. Ball pit balls seem to work well. :)

Get a giant board to make the kids "walk the plank." I love having them walk off it into the "dark depths" of the trampoline. We just put the board from the sandbox to the tramp, so it was nice and easy.

Speaking of which, you need balloon swords to force your reluctant children off the plank! So easy and cheap! I went with the easiest, #1 balloon saber. Works great for pirates anyway.

Now use more brown paper to make maps of your backyard. Butcher paper works, or leftover brown paper that was wrapped around something-or-other you purchased. Two birthday kids, two teams, two maps. You make however many you need for your party. Then make games for various places in your yard for the kids to play to earn treasure and make clues that lead from one game to the next.

Note: make sure you have enough adults to lead the teams, and run the stations AND take pictures. We ran out.

Of course you HAVE to have a treasure chest cake for them to find as the final treasure! My mom and I looked up tons of ideas and didn't like any of them, so we came up with our own. Mom told me how it should work and I figured out a template.

It is not actually tilted, just frosted to look that way. No dowels, no Rice Krispies, just cake and frosting and candy.

I'll have to do a separate post just for the cake.

There are chocolate gold coins, rolos, hershey nuggets, candy bracelets, ring pops and rock candy. With brown sugar sand.

Ok, now go to the party store. And the other one. And ALL the craft stores. Order stuff online if you have time. Have fun finding gold doubloons, jewels, bandannas, eye patches, spyglasses, pixie dust pouches, mustaches, tattoos and whatever else you can think of.

Set up a table for the kids to dress themselves like pirates!

Found this great printable name generator here

and made the kids fun name tags.

Coming up with pirate food can be endless. We had the kids eat while taking turns getting their tattoos. I tried to keep things well rounded...

Olive and tomato ships with cucumber sails and spinach dip filling.

Melon cannonballs with sword toothpicks.

Corn dog peg legs. No kids ate the ships, but no surprise there. They were quite good though, in my opinion!

While the kids were on the treasure hunt, I swapped the cake chest for the real one and served ice cream (actually, we did Rita's Ice) in the goblets.

When the fire gems took too long to melt, the kids just smashed them on the ground. Took less time but was still loads of fun. Oh yeah... don't forget to make yourself a last-minute-whatever-is-in-my-closet pirate costume too! Like the sword behind my back? ;)

Somehow we lost one of the bags of coins that was buried in the sand. Guess one day we really will find some lost pirate loot in the backyard!